New Hebrides chieftain
A new Hebrides chieftain sat peacefully reading the Bible, when he was interrrupted by a French trader.
"Bah", he said in French. "Why are you reading the Bible? I suppose the missionaries have got hold of you, you poor fool. Throw it away! The Bible never did anyone any good."
Replied the chieftain, calmly, "If it weren't for this Bible, you'd be in my kettle there by now!"